i think i just … failed PoF again

omg westlife is so cute

omg need to stop watching them. oh shit need to buy my kian magazine!!!

think i can officially say that my favourite word is WORLD. haha.

lol

BD for Juris,
DB for IP.

hahahahahahaha. both are brilliant. not referring to paper.

not like i never study

but i have a strong feeling that tommorow is going to be fucked up. either i screw myself up or lse screw me up. fuck fuck why did i do cover :(:(:(

another unproductive day

i think i’ve burnt out. spent the whole of today just… cooking and surfing. haha.

MUST MUST MUST check out this video i’ve just posted on the other blog. it is like, the most hilarious thing i’ve ever seen hahahahahaha. okay not hilarious. it is disgusting and funny.

p.s. i hate those ppl who’ve finished their exams

3am – time for my usual pre-dawn emoness

it disturbs me in ways i can never pinpoint or properly articulate but, i am really sad that i have no sense of belonging. not to indonesia, not to singapore, not to london. it is like, i am starting to feel claustrophoby bout london. maybe it is too much cafe food, too much pizza. just feels so stuffed and being stuffed. the air feels so dense. the room is too small. my items of possessions accumulating. and not enough place to keep them, or any idea what to do with them either.

then there is this constant feeling of not fitting in:( all these white people. urggh.

then, if i try to think about singapore. there seems to be nothing there as well. except maybe friends. but every holiday there feels so pointless and temporary and empty. am definately not a nomad. i think i’d be happiest as a tree in a deep forest where there is nobody to chop me down or disturb me. hais.  doesn’t help that most people are a disappointment nowadays. not personally. but just, generally.

wonder if i am actually getting insane enough to get clinically diagnosed and qualify for mitigating circumstances. that is, if i can bother to speak to somebody official about it.

just found out that apparently, the topics i am doing for BA might not be safe enough. tmd. damnnn

amazing the type fo things you can think of to do at 4am in the morning. just arranged my sticker books hahaha. made me realised that, maybe all my i-want-children desires steamed not from any love for children or anything – but my desire to re live a child’s life vicariously. that is so wrong. so perverse!

triple matryoshka dreams

still can’t make up my mind if Meursault should be a model or a warning.

copyright teacher gave soo much hints everybody don’t dare to take her seriously. it was SERIOUS hints and lots of ppl got pissed off because the long general problem questions they thought will come out won’t lol. i hope i will not do myself injustice again by not studying enough lol.

haha, the other day in class craig was like, talking about hard/soft positivists instead of using the whole phrase he was like.. “… he goes hard”. and everybody was sniggering. and then some girl who wasnt listening went “sorry, what did you say? what does he do … that he gets hard?”. omg the amount of self control we have to summon up not to lol. funnily craig didn’t seem to notice it or something. haha.

urrgggh new obsession in iTunes: to round the playcount to 5s or 0s. hardly any 19 or 9s now.

yippie Robin Hood is out and that whatever chinese show will be out soon as well. omg hahahahaha. just a little behind the times…

lol the police has been calling almost everyday to either ask questions, or update me on the gumtree fraud – that i actually felt a sense of connection to them when i see their cars on the street lol. apparently they caught 2 guys, and apparently they live in croydon. when he said that i was like, oh no wonder. haha.

damn that was just the last week’s episode:(. dreamt yesterday of telling somebody of this dream where i dreamt that i was dreaming. the freakiest thing is i actually had that mini dream a few days ago.

die die die

ffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nothing but violence can express my frustration right now. hittttttttttttt the keyboard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! areuhhtgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

1 nothing wrong with me 2 nothing wrong with me 3 nothing wrong with me 4 nothing wrong with me

(i know i am not supposed to be so radical and everything but…)

But this Crucify Christ Kit is just such a genius joke, if not idea!

(Thanks)

omfg

omfg. i can’t believe he looks so different now! it is probably just the glasses and he still don’t have a nice body. but hahahahaha. definately still much cuter years ago.

gets so impatient when any song last for more than 4 minutes. feels like i have so many songs to listen there is just not enough time to finish listening to them all, esp when i want to listen to them on repeat. wish i could cramp them all into 1 minute and still get the same feel. then i can put like, all my favourite songs on the same playlist and play them on repeat.

urrrgggh.